The evolution of a friendship

by LeeAnn Tebben

For the past 20 years I’ve been so blessed to have a special friendship with Becky Homme. In our early days we were young moms of preschoolers watching our four girls play dress up in pink tutus. Now today…10 kids (one grand baby) between us and with a little more gray hair as we parent teens, make college visits, and help with wedding planning. We were fortunate that our husbands really liked each other, and our kids became fast friends bonding over many playdates, making their own ‘clubs’, tea parties, and numerous school activities. 

Back in 2002, I was new to Rochester. Becky and I met at Bible study, and we quickly bonded over being medical spouses. Our husbands were busy working long residency hours and weekend hospital shifts. Often, we were solo parenting our little ones and found such solidarity and encouragement that we weren’t doing this life alone. Becky and I understood and supported each other during those hard days and longer nights. We also served in Bible study and school committees together. 

Through the years some fun family traditions developed. We had our annual Lefse making night that became a highlight! Peter and I didn’t know much about this Norwegian tradition, but it became a favorite of the whole family and a few years ago we even had personalized aprons made for the occasion. In 2020, as we couldn’t gather physically in one house, we still made Lefse ‘together’ over Zoom.

The Lord also brought both of our families to a desire to adopt and even though we were led to different countries, we really could lean on each other through the long waiting times, high stress and joy filled moments together. As our families grew, our friendship just added another beautiful layer.

In 2011, we threw a curve ball and our family moved to Oklahoma. But despite the distance our friendship remained steady and strong. “True friends are always together in spirit.” (Anne of Green Gables) Becky’s family of 8 made the 745-mile trip to visit us in the August Oklahoma heat so to not disrupt our long standing tradition of our ‘first day of school’ family pictures and Lefse making. Gratefully, we moved back to Rochester in 2012 and our families could continue years of bonding and memories together. Becky adds, “Our friendship with the Tebbens became more like family. We’ve been able to celebrate together, grieve together, pray for one other, and keep each other sane through all of life’s crazy times.”

I’ve been so grateful to have Becky be a safe place to go and pour out my hurts and struggles over parenting and life issues. Life is messy. We all need someone to sit with us in our mess, remind us of God’s truth and help us back up again. As Anne Shirley says, “A bosom friend—an intimate friend, you know—a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life.”

LeeAnn Tebben has lived in the upper midwest for 24 years now and is wife to Peter. She has two grown children, one adorable grandson and two 6th graders. She loves reading and watching college basketball. She is currently serving on Calvary’s Women’s Ministry Team.