It had to be you

by Laura Rohrbaugh

Once upon a time there was a 10-year old girl who didn’t want to be so terrible at playing saxophone. Her mother enlisted the help of Mr. A, a private teacher who smoked cigarettes and nibbled on potato chips throughout each lesson. Even so, he maintained a full roster of students and enjoyed boasting about their successes. A captive audience of his tales, the girl’s mom and Mr. A became friends. In time, he laid out an elusive goal for his elementary student: follow in the footsteps of his 15-year old prodigy, Dick Rohrbaugh. Meeting Dick for the first time, the girl’s mom praised him for his mature disposition: “Someday I’d like to meet your mother and compliment her on the wonderful son she raised.” Meanwhile, the girl began practicing excessively, much to the chagrin of her next door neighbor whose bedroom window was less than 20 feet away from hers. 

The girl eventually became quite musically proficient and, at age 16, auditioned for a band that performed an outdoor summer concert series. One evening, the girl’s mom and dad were in attendance. Home from college and accompanied by his mother, so was Dick. Recalling their conversation from some 6 years prior, Dick escorted his mom to where the girl’s parents were sitting. “Mrs. Bishop, you’d wanted to meet my mom? This is Pat Rohrbaugh.” Later that night, Pat and Dick came to the Bishop’s for ice cream. The girl nearly collapsed from shock. Her parents had never invited anyone over before. It was a defining moment.

One year later, a few months before her high school graduation, the girl’s father died of cancer. Pat Rohrbaugh, also a widow, befriended the girl’s mom. Dick graduated from college that year too, and began gigging as much as he could. Avoiding the urge to be picky, he played polka masses and mediocre dance jobs in small-town ballrooms–in addition to more rewarding gigs. Regardless, the moms enjoyed traveling together to Dick’s performances and dragging the girl along. One night, Dick and the girl held hands for an hour during the car ride home. But Dick’s beard and intensity were off-putting to the girl. And Dick decided the girl was a flibbertigibbet who needed to mature. 

Over the next few years, as their mothers’ friendship deepened, Dick and the girl’s relationship devolved. The girl perceived Dick’s shyness as arrogance, so she snubbed him back. Dick perceived the girl’s silent treatment as hostility, so he ignored her with a coy smile. Even when they found themselves working for the same company, the cycle of intentional rejection continued well over a year. Then one day, in an impromptu burst of civility, the girl proclaimed she was tired of the impasse and demanded a truce. Speechless, Dick just shook his head up and down. 

The following October, Dick turned 30 and the girl gave him a card and hand-written coupon for a home-cooked birthday meal. As was typical, their exchange was awkward. “If hamburgers are what you can cook, then hamburgers are fine,” Dick offered about his meal of choice. Insulted, the girl served him filet mignon with a peppercorn glaze to prove she could cook. The girl also wanted to show she was no longer the silly chatterbox she was at age 18, so she crafted 31 thoughtful and captivating questions in advance to keep the conversation flowing and her mouth closed. Despite being confused by the behavior change, Dick politely thanked the girl for a good meal. He even hinted that maybe they’d dine together again someday. Secretly, the girl hoped she wouldn’t have to wait until her birthday in February.

Four months later, on the girl’s 25th birthday, Dick invited her to Olive Garden. She ordered fettuccine alfredo and he didn’t judge. Afterwards, she invited him in for a teetotaler’s nightcap and they had their first organic, unscripted conversation of substance. Then, as Dick left her apartment to drive home, the girl’s cuff bracelet got caught on his coat pocket. They semi-hugged to get her unstuck. But the real hug and kiss that followed required no bracelet. 

That was it. After 9 years of ignoring the guy who was always there, the girl had found her person. Eleven months later, on an unseasonably warm winter day, they were married in a concert hall. Its convertible layout allowed their widowed moms to sit next to each other in the same row of seats. The venue also provided a long staircase for the girl to descend, right into Dick’s loving hand. Professional photos perfectly captured the beauty of that day. But the spirit of the wedding was best illustrated by Dick’s groomsman Bob, an award-winning cartoonist, who drew a caricature of the couple for the wedding bulletin with the caption “It Had to Be You.” 

————-

Dick and I have now been married 31 years. No two people could be more different, yet more alike. We share the same faith in God, the same heart for worship, the same sarcastic sense of humor, the same interest in politics, the same caregiving commitment to our mothers, and the same steadfast devotion to our precious daughter. I thank the Lord daily that His plans are so much better than anything we can envision for ourselves. Even when we resist for nearly a decade first.

Laura Rohrbaugh is wife to Dick and mom to Cadence (Cady), a high school senior and drumming phenom. The family fur babies would call her mom if they could. Laura has also been foster mom to 3 littles and mentor mom to 11 at-risk teens. A technical writer by trade, she currently works as an IT support analyst at Mayo Clinic and side hustles creating websites and writing resumes. Laura loves playing keyboards and singing on worship team, but she will always cherish the 6 years she served as Calvary Kids Choir director most.