by Karyn Grenz
Author Sharon Hodde Miller, teaching pastor at Bright City Church in Durham, North Carolina, brings a fresh look at discovering the power God has given us to influence ourselves in self control. In her book, The Cost of Control; why we crave it, the anxiety it gives us, and the real power God promises, she works through the WHY, the HOW, and the COST of trying to control everything in our lives. Then, she carefully crafts the antidote to seeking control, and it’s more than just “trust God more.”
I have always struggled with control in my life. When I’m anxious, the answer is to control even more. Miller describes this is as one of the costs of control. This struggle however, is as old as Adam and Eve. They “traded paradise for power” as they sought for their own control. What ultimately happens though is that the more control we seek, the less control we actually feel. We attempt to control through information seeking, exerting power over things or others, and relying on money or our own autonomy. The cost of these controlling attempts unfortunately ends in broken relationships, increased anxiety, burnout, and potentially body shame.
Miller reminds that God promises the REAL power and has from the very beginning even when Adam and Eve could not recognize it through the devil’s schemes. He gives us agency, or the “power to influence ourselves and our own circumstances.” He encourages us to pray, to listen attentively, and to choose the important matters. As Galatians clarifies, true power comes not from us, but from the Holy Spirit.
With each chapter having a written prayer and reflection questions at the end, this book could easily be adapted for a small group or a women’s bible study. It carries thoughtful questions throughout that build upon each other. Ultimately, she encourages each of us to “not settle for the devil’s offers of security, success and power anymore. We can have the real thing in Jesus.”
Karyn Grenz is co-editor of The Stir, wife to Chris and mother to Josef (17) and Alexa (13). She is a former family nurse practitioner, now homeschool mum. In her spare time, you can find her enjoying a good English period drama with a cup of tea, gardening or being an amateur birder in her back yard.