by AnaMarie Moen
The sunlight shone through my window on that refreshing morning a few years ago. I awoke with my face moistened with tears of serenity and a sense of solace. I had just experienced a reoccurring dream for the third time in my life, confirming my belief that this dream was a beautiful message from God and an answer to one of many questions I carry about my biological family.
November is a very sentimental month for my family. I was born in Guatemala and have been blessed with an open adoption. We have journeyed through many adventures as my adoptive parents and I have been supporting some of my biological family members due to poverty and other difficulties. I’d like to share some experiences and dreams that have touched my life.
When I was 5, my parents and I went back to Guatemala for the first time since my adoption as a 2-month-old. The reunion was emotional, so precious that words cannot describe everything I felt. It was on this trip that I met and bonded with my biological mom and three of my siblings. In Antigua, Evelyn, Lili, Oscar and I walked around the town with Pastor Dan and Beth, my parents. I remember playing in the fountain in a large courtyard. My brother, Oscar, being mischievous, started a water fight, and Evelyn and Lili joined in the fun. It is my most treasured memory because little did I know, that memory would become a significant dream.
Seven years later in 2004, my world turned dark. News reached us that Oscar had been beaten and stoned to death by gang members. He was 14 and soon to become a father. The circumstances of Oscar’s death were not unlike West Side Story, in which a young man falls in love with a girl “owned” by the leader of a rival gang. Although Oscar had gotten his life back on track and was excited about church on Sundays, the relationship was eventually discovered and led to his murder.
I wondered if Oscar had surrendered his life to Jesus when God sent the first dream. I was back at the water fountain in Antigua and I could hear the laughter of my sisters and Oscar. I saw his face and smile. He gave me a hug. I wanted to keep playing but the dream faded slowly like a bubble in the sky floats away.
A year later, my birth mother passes away. I flew to Guatemala to help with the funeral. My birthmother was just starting to answer my million questions and now she was gone. Although angry, I thanked God in the midst of that grief for the times we had and countless letters written. I also thanked him that in her last 4 yrs of life she knew God.
Fast forward several more years and dream #2 came. Again the water fountain of Antigua, but this time the dream lasted a bit longer and not only were my siblings there, but my birth mother greeted me in English! I could hear her belly laugh. I told her she was forever in my heart and I wanted to bring her back with me, to show her where I grew up, to show her there’s a place she could stay. I didn’t know exactly how but I tried to put a plan together to sneak her over the border. I found myself leaving the fountain and flying a plane. Unfortunately, the plane crashed. My birthmother was not hurt but warned me I had to go back with Beth and Dan. “Go where?”, I asked. “I miss you, no we can make it Mamá. I’ll find a way.” All she did was kiss my head and said good bye to me. And again things faded.
Dream 3 came after my husband Tom and I had been married several years and I had become a mother. For years I’ve prayed for Lili and for her daughter to come here. In 2019 my parents, Tom and I worked together on extensive paperwork and I filed to sponsor and bring Lili here. These past years have been a long hard wait.
Dream 3 was the longest water fountain dream and the most peaceful. Everything was the same, the laughter and water fight, the fresh air, the hugs and smiles. What was different this time is that Oscar grabbed my hand and he led me to a stairway. Oscar motioned for me to follow, but then a white light appeared and there was something or someone gently holding me back. Oscar seemed to understand and he turned around and looked at me. We made eye contact and he nodded. It was the kind of nod that tells you, “Don’t worry about me. I’m content.” The dream gave me peace, and I felt the holy Spirit come over me with comfort. On a trip to Guatemala in 2022, Lili confirmed that Oscar had accepted Jesus!
I share this story because the holiday season can be a time of both joy and sadness for those who have lost loved ones, and I want to encourage you that if you’re still praying prayers that began 10, 20, even 30 years ago, bravely and humbly surrender to God’s will. In my journey right now, I am coming to an understanding that sometimes God answers our prayers in a way we never imagined.
AnaMarie Moen is wife to Tom and mother of three kids. She was born in Guatemala. When she’s not writing, she is with her kids or working. She is blessed to be a Massage Therapist and local business owner.