by Melissa Meyers
-Reflecting on the year past…looking to the year ahead
If you are reading this you may be a goal-oriented person. I am. I love dreaming of the future, making lists, and crossing things off my lists. Full confession, I sometimes write down something I just accomplished on the To-Do list after I have done the task. I then just immediately put a hard straight line through it. Done. Completed. Achieved.
When I had small children, I felt completely disrupted. Multiple things on the list went unaccomplished. Many days there were no lists. Dreaming for the future seemed impossible. I tried to live up to the advice of embracing the moment and the messiness. Sometimes it worked. In the end, I decided to embrace my personality instead.
I met someone who planned mini-retreats for herself. She’d plan half a day or even a whole day to pray and reflect on what was working in her life? What was not. A day set apart to dream and open herself up to the direction she felt God moving in her life. This spoke to me, and every year I try to do this in some format. I’ve also done it when I feel like life has snowballed me and I need to feel grounded.
The nitty-gritty
First: Allow yourself to do this. No excuses. There will never be a perfect time. Schedule it.
When you have small children at home, you can NOT do this at home. Hire a babysitter, have them visit Grandma, or have your spouse watch them on a day off or take a day off of work. If you stay in your house, you’ll want to clean something and you’ll be interrupted.
Some places to retreat: Go to a library and reserve a quiet room, find a coffee shop with a nook, Caribou Coffee in Red Wing would make a lovely day trip for this, find someone who has a cabin, or visit a retreat center. Three places I know that offer spaces for individual retreats: ARC located in Stanchfield, Mount Olivet Retreat Center in Farmington, or Pacem in Terris in Isanti, Minnesota. I had a lovely stay several years ago at Pacem in Terris during a particularly trying time in my life. Design your retreat based on your personality and budget.
Even if you do not have small children at home, you may also want to carve away time at a designated spot for a fresh perspective. Or to just to get away from the everyday needs a house, teenagers, or in my case, the needy pets bring.
The Retreat: What do I do now?
A little bit of planning goes a long way. Pack your Bible. Treat yourself to your favorite beverage and snacks. Bring your favorite pens, markers, notebooks or sketch pads. Adult coloring book. Favorite music playlist. Laptop. Silence or put your phone on vibrate. Try to unplug and resist looking at your phone. During your retreat time, you may start by praying or reading scripture that is meaningful to you. You can start working through a list of question. You may take time to just listen to music and color or doodle or sing. Take time to just drink your coffee and stare out a window. This time is meant to be active in listening as much as it is in reflection.
Here’s some questions to work through/or create a list of questions prior to your retreat time:
Reflect back on 2022. Write out how the year went. Unexpected changes. Answered prayers. Unanswered prayers. Surprises. Disappointments. Pray over what you wrote.
Or here are some specific questions to get yourself started:
What is working in my life? What is not working?
How is my relationship with my spouse? with my children?
What is going well in my job/life? What is not going well?
In the next year ahead, what would I like to change? How do I need to change?
How do I feel God leading me? How is God leading my family?
Am I paying attention to my spiritual life?
What goals do I have for the year ahead? Personal goals. Work goals. Relationship goals. Vacation goals. or Family goals.
Looking forward in 2023…I’d like to focus on…then list it.
Wrap it up:
If you planned your time to be 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Allow some time in the last hour to reflect and take something concrete from your time away. Summarize your goals/reflections on a half sheet of paper or in a word document. Find a verse that might summarize the direction you feel God leading you this next year. Plan on tacking this up somewhere to review throughout the year.
Share it:
In the next week, carve some time away and share your time and the sheet you used to summarize your focus in the next year with someone close to you. This may be a good friend, your spouse, your grown children, or your mother. Share them with me! I’d love to hear what your dreams are. Have grace with yourself. This really isn’t about accomplishing a million things. It’s about reflecting on what God is doing in your life, and allowing yourself to dream again.
