Season of gratitude: appreciating our husbands

by Jill Pearson

My husband, Dave, and I can be a little cheesy. Every time we notice 11:11 on the clock, we text each other a blowing-kiss emoji. It happens weirdly often, and after 31 years of marriage, we value the silly little things over the grand gestures. Though I blow it regularly with moodiness or inattention, I do try to be a wife who openly compliments my husband and shows appreciation.

When showing our appreciation to our husbands, it helps to figure out what really fills their tank. To start with, no man has ever scolded his wife for praising him privately or in public. Men want to be admired and thought well of.

I learned this one the hard way. I remember as a young wife making a “funny” comment, which insulted my husband in front of his parents. Oops! He pulled me aside to say he didn’t appreciate that, and I felt terrible. Now I make a habit of thanking his mom for raising such a great guy. It builds them both up!

One thing I’ve tried to do is participate in some of his adventurous ideas. A big bucket list item for him was hiking the Inca Trail into Machu Picchu in Peru. We accomplished this last May. It was definitely not my dream, but I wanted to share it with him, so I spent many hours on the stair climber machine in training, and got myself a prescription for altitude sickness just in case.

Before we knew it, we were 13,000+ feet in the Andes Mountains looking at ancient ruins and trying not to fall. The grand reward was arriving at the ancient city of Machu Picchua at sunrise on the final day of the hike. Whether its learning a new game or hobby with him or going on a big adventure, your interest can express much love and appreciation.

I asked some Calvary women their ideas for ways to show appreciation. Here are the suggestions:

Put notes in his lunchbox or his car. 

Brag about him in front of your parents and kids. 

Make him a playlist of his favorite oldies.

If he’s a physical touch guy, touch him randomly, scratch his head, snuggle on the couch, and remember that often times, feelings follow decisions, if you know what I mean.

Race your kids to be the first to get to hug him when he gets home from work. 

Hold his hand.

Recreate your first date.

Give him warm kisses and long hugs before and after work.

If you’re the cook, ask him for his favorite meal ideas.

Read the book he’s reading or listen to a podcast he enjoys so you can talk about it with him.

Be an active listener. Put down your phone and engage.

Attention, affirmation, and affection go a long ways in sustaining an enduring and satisfying marriage, and God is glorified in our healthy Christian marriages.

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