by Carla Addison
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Tis the season to think about gifts! And this year, our family received a tremendous gift that we have all been praying and waiting on for nearly 9 years, a baby girl – a 2nd daughter, a little sister!
With our first daughter, we struggled with infertility. Prayers were lifted, tests were done, meds were taken and we greatly rejoiced when we found out we were expecting our little miracle. Our first baby girl was born in 2013 and we were amazed and so in love! I remember my OB visiting me while I was in the hospital and saying something about it being easier next time to conceive. As they say… famous last words.
We started out hopeful that the same protocol would work to grow our family, but it didn’t. Months turned into years. 3 clinics, 2 states and countless doctors and specialists. Waiting and waiting and waiting. More prayers, tests, meds, surgeries, diagnoses and lots of tears, frustration, and jealousy.
As friends or relatives announced their pregnancies, some of them felt like a punch to the gut. “Why not us Lord?” “When will you bless us?” I longed to be pregnant again and for my daughter to have the blessing of a little sibling. I felt like Paul when he references in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” I was so happy to hear about these new little lives being added to families that I loved and yet it hurt so badly.
After years of constant appointments and meds, I reached a point where it was time for a break. A long break. After several years had passed, we again began to discuss the possibility of growing our family. Both IVF and adoption were on the table and after much prayer and discussion, we decided to start the adoption process. As a family, we were active with our adoption consultants for some time; however, as we prepared to open a business and I prepared to go back to work to help get it started, it no longer seemed like the right time to add a little one and grow our family. I started to accept that we were a 1 child family and started referencing my daughter as an only child.
Endometriosis was one of the diagnoses I had received, and I began to wonder how it would affect my overall health as time went on. I reached out to Mayo in hopes of meeting with a specialist. During my first appointment, this new Doctor asked me if I’d like to have additional children. I couldn’t help but laugh because of all I’d been through, but the seed was planted. We began to look at what IVF would mean to our family, and we prayed and prayed and asked others to pray for us knowing that with my age, this would be the last time we’d have this conversation. We decided we’d give growing our family one last shot. We both knew God was more than capable, but honestly after years of praying and hearing ‘no’ for so long, neither of us really thought it would work.
The IVF process wasn’t always easy but once we began, I truly felt God’s peace. I had been nervous to step back into the infertility world of meds and procedures. I remembered previously feeling so clench fisted, determined and trying to control the little that I could, along with feeling the devastation each month that it didn’t work. And yet this time, as we went through each step there was a calm. My prayers had changed over the years from simply saying “God, I long for a baby,” to “if it’s Your Will Lord. If it will strengthen our marriage and if it’s what’s best for our family.” And when God started saying “Yes!” it was amazing to share that news with the ones who had prayed with us over the years.
I remember being on the phone with my mom in tears, sharing that one of the procedures had gone unbelievably well. Even the medical team was delighted and in awe. I felt so overwhelmed by God’s grace. And this was long before we knew we were pregnant, which was just shocking, especially after only one transfer. It took us far too long to believe. The heart has a strange way of trying to protect itself. And yet here we are. We still at times look at each other and say, “Can you believe we’re a family of 4?” And she just turned 5 months!
Though infertility is so hard and frankly, just sucks, I know that like so many other things in my life, God meant it for good. Compassion is a gift that I’ve seen God grow in me – I know God has softened my heart for others going through difficult things because of all we’ve been through. Our friends and family supporting and praying for us was such a gift, and of course this beautiful baby girl is a reminder that God’s timing is always perfect and He is faithful!
I know not every infertility story ends this way. And if you’re struggling and in the middle of something like this, please know you’re not alone. I’d love to pray for you and be a listening ear. Please reach out.
Carla Addison is back to being a stay-at-home mom to both of her girls, after welcoming baby #2. She and her husband, Dr. Larry Addison own Total Vision Eyecare in town. They have lived in Rochester for 8 years. On Dec 10th they’ll be welcomed as new members and are so thankful to be part of the Calvary family. It’s been a joy worshipping (Larrys plays on the worship team), attending Renovaré, and joining a small group.