By Mary Hanson
Editor’s Note: Mary was one of the first women I met over 20 years ago when I started attending Calvary. I didn’t grow up having lots of visitors to our home, so when invited to Mary’s home, I carefully studied her laid-back, personable style of hosting, what she served, how she enhanced her cozy home with candles, books, music, and scents, and how she asked questions like you were the most interesting person in the world. She even had the wisdom to invite another young mom over during my first visit to her home, and that woman and her children, along with our husbands, became dear, lifelong friends. I consider Mary my primary hospitality mentor. -Jill
Tell us a little bit about you and your family…
Scott and I are both from the same town in northern Minnesota. After being married, we moved to Rochester and began church hunting. On one of our first Sundays visiting Calvary, we sat next to this cute newly married couple, John and Julianne Hagan, who would become two of the many people who just made it feel “right” being at Calvary. We jumped in by joining a small group and began to get connected. Thirty-two years later, we have 3 grown children. Nate and his wife, Bailey, live in Fargo, ND, Josh is in Denver, CO, and Julianne is a student at UW LaCrosse in Wisconsin.
What does hospitality mean to you?
I heard once that “entertaining” is about the host and “hospitality” is about the guest. It has taken me years to realize that it is not the square footage of our house or the decor that visitors care about. What is important is that they feel cared for and loved in our home. To me, a welcoming home is tranquil (I am forever decluttering) and it reflects the homeowner (I like birds and gnomes so you might see a few of those in my home.) And it goes without saying it smells of fresh brewed coffee!
Did someone model hospitality for you?
My folks had lots of people over, nothing fancy, just a small town living life together. I loved when Mom’s friends came over to give each other a perm and drink coffee. Back then, people would ring on the door unexpectedly, and Mom would put the coffee pot on. I love it when that spontaneous hospitality occurs. I remember as a kid I’d beg Mom to let me call and invite our family friends over on Friday nights, so I think God hardwired me to enjoy hospitality. I am grateful that I get to do what I love and host coffee socials every day at work with my memory care residents.
What are some things you do to prepare when someone comes to visit?
As much as I love spontaneous hospitality, more than not it takes intentionality. Scott and I have an ongoing list of people we want to invite over. It does take planning, so when the visit involves a meal, I try to start a few days early getting grocery shopping done, then clean and prep the day before, so the day the guests come I have little to do so I am relaxed and ready to enjoy. We take a few minutes to pray for our guests before they arrive and ask for God’s help to love them well and guide the conversation.
Can you tell us about the outdoor space you designed for gatherings?
We put an addition on our house years ago so we could have room for a big table for family and friends. The bonus was an outside space beneath the addition. It was a great during Covid to have that outdoor space for small group and other gatherings. I love when we can be outside, as grilling is such an easy way to include people (and Scott cooks!)
Do you have any favorite products that help you make a welcoming home?
I love having pretty napkins on hand. I enjoy garage sales, so I am always on the hunt for something to add to the table, whether linens or serving pieces. It’s always nice to have fresh flowers (thank you Trader Joes!) or a plant, a candle burning, and my Lorie Line piano music playing.
Can you recommend any books on hospitality?
Although it is fun seeing what Joanna Gaines is up to, I learn more from all of you ladies at Calvary. From Marilyn who continues to invite people over in her Senior living community, to Martha who recently reminded me how nice it is to be invited over and spurred me on. Over the years I have watched many of you model how to encourage one another through the vehicle of hospitality. Just yesterday our Bible Study group met at someone’s home. There was such a sweet bond of sharing life that so easily happens around the table.
How do you want a person to feel when they leave your home?
Filled, listened to, connected, cared for and a part of community.