by Ingrid Ansell
“Unlike entertaining, hospitality does not seek to impress or network or create obligation. Instead, it seeks to serve. Biblical hospitality seeks to show love in ways that each guest will recognize and feel.” – Rebecca VanDoodewaard
I’m certainly not a pro in this area, but I have always enjoyed having people over, and enjoy being invited to others’ homes. It’s far easier to meet at a restaurant or coffee shop, and I do so often. I feel that the pandemic threw its own wrench into in-home hospitality, and we’ve collectively got out of the habit of doing it. I’m reminded that offering hospitality is something we are all strongly encouraged to do. Some may have the gift of hospitality, but Romans 12:13 encourages us all to “practice hospitality”, which means it’s something we learn by doing. It doesn’t need to be perfect (it seldom is). It’s about the guests, and not about your skills! It does take time and preparation, but it’s one of the many ways we love people.
Two favorite memories I have regarding this kind of hospitality are very different from each other, but both invitations made me feel loved, accepted, and they opened doors for friendship. The first happened way back when we arrived in Rochester from South Africa. I had just met a young woman who lived down the street. During the first snowstorm, Nancy spontaneously invited me to her home. The aroma of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies was amazing. We sat at her kitchen table and ate the (best) store-made freezer cookies and, seemed like the most delicious coffee! Clearly it was not at all about the fancy food or drink, but the way she made me feel, having been invited for the first time into the home of someone in this new country we were living in. Her hospitality was simple – but I left her house walking on air, feeling loved and accepted as a foreigner to the country.
The second was a more recent dinner invitation we received from a young couple at church. I didn’t expect anything more than a simple Saturday meal. The hosts had set a beautiful candlelit table, and we enjoyed unrushed conversation with delicious food. We so appreciated the effort they had gone to. Once again, a special connection of friendship was made.
I’d say the best hospitality is the kind that sounds doable. Maybe it’s just coffee together, done up to look special, but is simple (we discovered at Latte night recently that if you don’t have a milk frother, you can make your own ‘latte-like’ drink by warming milk on the stove and whisking it up with a handheld mixer). Perhaps it’s inviting people over for brunch – buy a quiche and cut up some fruit. Offer to host your small group and make dessert. Enjoy an activity around town together, then invite people over for dessert and a beverage. I’m thinking about the Nike phrase: Just Do It! ☺ There’s just something special about opening up your home and lives to another.
A few tips for hosting:
- Clean and de-clutter your space so it’s a relaxing environment.
- Make things like the dessert, salad dressing, dips a day or two ahead to save time.
- Set your table days ahead in the busy holiday season. Your centerpiece can include a candle, a few flowers/greenery, etc.
- Background music creates a relaxing atmosphere.
- Pray and ask that God will allow your conversation to be an encouragement.
- Don’t rush to clean up after a meal so that your guests feel invited to linger.
- If your guests are staying with you, add a special touch with a fresh flower or two on the bedside table. Prepare a simple bathroom basket of rolled up wash towels, lotion, shampoo, cotton pads, toothpaste for easy access. I re-launder towels and pillow slips so they smell fresh and clean.
- We love having a puzzle available to work on. It tends to bring people together.
- Involve your children in cleaning, prep and cooking. Hospitality is caught, better than taught.
I trust you’ll enjoy time with family, friends, and strangers this Christmas season. Here’s a challenge for us to think about.
One of the distinctives of Christian hospitality is the guests. We extend invitations to strangers as well as friends, seeking not only to deepen fellowship, but also to draw people into the light of Christian community (Heb. 13:2; 1 Peter 4:9). We extend invitations to people who are unable to reciprocate, either because of their living situation, hard financial position, family issue, or physical condition (Luke 14:13). Hospitality is part of giving, expecting nothing in return from the people who receive the sacrifice of our service.”
– Rebecca VanDoodewaard
Ingrid Ansell was born in Johannesburg, South Africa, and moved here with her husband, Steve 27 years ago. They have two adult kids – Kerryn, who is married to Scott and they live in Madison, Wisconsin, and Bradley who lives here in Rochester. Since she couldn’t work due to visa restrictions for 8 years, she dove into volunteering, and found herself loving ministry work the best. These things brighten her day – playing guitar or piano, working with the women’s ministry team, pickleball, cross-country skiing, hiking, trying new ideas for church community engagement, coffee with a friend, travel with Steve, reading, cooking and visiting family in S.A.!