The Public Reputation of a Christian

If we are going to navigate social media interaction with the kind of grace God has called us to have as Christians, we need to remember that we are always in a big public room. In that room, our reputation matters, because the Kingdom of God we represent matters.

I saw something last year that my mind could not process and comprehend what I was seeing and hearing. Ever had that happen? This was when we were still making the move from Michigan to Rochester. My family and I were back in Michigan, finishing up the sale of our home. And so we were staying at a hotel. And I was down in the hotel hot tub at 3:00 because that’s when you go if you don’t want to be joined by a host of children. So I’m kicking back. I’m relaxing when suddenly I hear a bunch of shouting from an older lady in the room somewhere near the pool. When I take off my glasses, I can’t see a thing. So I put on my glasses and she is shouting at someone in the pool. And so I look and there in the pool are two teenagers standing in the shallow water, chest high, and they’re holding their phones, just daring God to teach them a lesson. Right. And one was either video chatting or making some video, like a TikTok video or something. And the other one was scrolling, but she was keeping her elbows above the water. So it was like it was like this, elbows above the water, scrolling like that. And so the shouting was coming from both the teenagers and the grandma who was in one of those lounge chairs off to the side of the pool. And I immediately assumed that the grandma must be shouting something like, Kids, have you lost your mind? Because I’ll help you find it. You know how grandmas talk, right? But that wasn’t it. It was echoey. But once my ears dialed in, I could hear that the teens were shouting how they couldn’t get enough internet reception and grandma was shouting, Hold it up higher.

This constant craving to be online is not going away, is it? It’s not going away. I wish things were trending differently, but they are not. I’m a very big advocate of limiting screen time, delaying the use of gadgets for our kids. Now, I’m no expert on this, but when Silicon Valley executives liken their gadgets to crack cocaine and prevent their own children from using them, that tells me that we should probably follow suit. New York Times journalist Nellie Bowles wrote a three-part report on Silicon Valley families. So these would be the executive families who are so wary of the products that they are producing – they’re the ones making the products – they’re so wary of these products that they make their own nannies sign a contract stating that they will not use their own phones in front of their children. She wrote this: ‘It could happen that the children of poorer and middle-class parents will be raised by screens while children of Silicon Valley’s elite will be going back to wooden toys and the luxury of human interaction.’

Now, I’m not going to talk about the dangers of screens, but I am going to talk about the human interaction that we all have every day. And I’m going to assume that whether it’s healthy or not, that our interaction will be increasingly technologically driven. But that’s only going to trend more in that direction. And I’m going to try to address that topic from another angle. Specifically, I’m going to talk about how those of us who want to honor the Lord with all that we do, with everything, with every interaction, how we can do that online in a way that glorifies Christ. Because it’s the Christian’s goal to bring everything in life under Christ. So we embrace those things that honor Jesus, we reject those things that dishonor Jesus, and we redeem and reform those things that the world misuses. And it’s that last category that I’m concerned about because that’s really where online interaction falls. It’s in that last category of redemption. A lot of Christians have not thought deeply and biblically about online interaction. So while many areas of their lives have been transformed by the gospel, they interact online using worldly standards of acceptability as opposed to biblical standards of acceptability. If you’ve ever said something online that you wouldn’t say to a person’s face because of your Christian convictions, you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve ever shared a private concern in a public forum, if you have ever complained publicly, if you’ve ever stereotyped a group of people because they disagree with you. If you’ve ever shared rumors and unverified stories just because they happen to match what you already think and you want to share that with your friends, then you know what I’m talking about. Nervous? Anybody nervous? We all should be. Christ is a mission for us. And that mission does not match up well with the mission of the average keyboard warrior. Our series is entitled Chat Room. We’re going to do this in five parts. I’m excited to have Pastor John and Pastor Brian join me in teaching on this topic. I chose the word chatroom because it’s a concept that is kind of past its prime. That word is not a word that we really use. We use the phrase social media now, meaning the media or the platforms where we can be social with other people. But back in my day 20 years ago or whatever, the way people connected with other people was in this thing called a chat room, which isn’t all that different from the social media concept, except it wasn’t tied to you specifically. So it wasn’t tied to your to your music and to your pictures and all of that.

You had to go to MySpace for that. And everybody knows that MySpace was a fantastic and safe idea, right? No problems with that at all. Chat rooms were real time interactive discussion threads. Okay? So you would chat with people in real time. You were there at your computer, you were sort of chiming in on a group discussion. Basically, you were texting with a bunch of strangers. That’s how it worked. Now, if that sounds potentially creepy and dangerous, that’s because it was, in fact, both creepy and dangerous. They’re still around on the Internet. And I am not in any way advocating their use when I when I named our series this. Okay? But I think there is something that we can learn from the concept of a chat room that has been lost in our use of social media. And that’s this. When you are engaging online, you are in a big public room. When you gauge a line, you’re in a big public room with many people. When you would enter a chat room, there would be a little note that would say, so-and-so has entered the chat. And it was like a little note to let you know that whatever was now being said by you was being observed by I Love Puppies 48 or whatever. Nobody used their real names. Right? Again, very creepy. I’m not a fan of it, but the idea was clear that this is a public conversation and it’s been being observed and engaged by actual people. You are all in a virtual room together and whatever you contribute to the chat is going to affect the direction of the chat. If we’re going to navigate social media interaction with the kind of grace that God has called us to have as Christians, we need to remember that we are always in a big public room. Always. Every time you log on, you just walked into a room with thousands of strangers. But Kyle, I only post to my friends. Only my friends can see my post. Oh yeah? How many friends is that? Oh, 1800. I’ll say it again. You just walked into a room of strangers. You don’t have 1800 friends or 800 or 80. You have a whole bunch of acquaintances from all walks of life, most of whom only hear you when you post. And when you walk into a big public room of 1800 people with the name Christian checked in your info tab, you represent Jesus in that room. And that means everything the Lord has to tell us about interacting with other people as Salt and Light missionaries applies to how we speak online.

Today I’m going to begin by talking about reputation. I want to take us to the Scripture to answer the question does the public reputation of a Christian matter? Reputation, of course, is simply what other people think of you. And that opinion is formed through interactions with people that you have. And if our interaction is increasingly online and it’s increasingly public, then our reputation increasingly is built online in a very public way. Now, you might say, you know what, Kyle? I don’t care what people think of me. I don’t care what people think of me. And I understand that idea, that you don’t care what people think of you. But does God’s Word say that a follower of Jesus should care what others think of you? Does God’s Word say that you should care? Because if it does, then God’s word about your reputation takes precedent over your opinion of your reputation. And we all need to learn to care about the things that God cares about. That’s what it means to follow Christ.

So let’s go into this starting by looking at 1 Timothy 3:1-7: ” The saying is trustworthy: if anyone aspires to the office of Overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach. The husband of one wife, sober minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well with all dignity, keeping his children submissive. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.”

Yes, that is the right passage. I have not lost my mind. This passage is a list of qualifications for an elder, which is a very important role within the body of the church. The men who serve in this role have to be above reproach in all these different aspects of life. Now, if you reproach someone, it means that you can bring a charge against them. So to be above reproach means that you live your life in such a way that no one can accuse you of having a secret, unrepentant pattern of sin. So, for example, to be above reproach, in self-control, means that people can see that you’re not falling apart because of a lot of unwise choices that you’ve made in your life. You’re under control in your relationships, and your family, and your finances, and your leadership roles and things like that. You’re not a stressed out nightmare. Okay? But being above reproach in another area like, say, being above reproach such as not a drunkard means that no one can accuse you of misusing alcohol, including yourself. By the way, a rigorous self-assessment is a big part of truly being above reproach. So in this case, it means that you don’t have a secret chemical dependency. You’re not you’re not hurting your family through alcohol abuse. Alcohol is not having a negative impact on your life. And no one has reason to approach you and to say otherwise. That’s above reproach. It doesn’t mean you’re perfect in all of these things, but it does mean that your life is an open book, that you are repenting and transforming and seeing victory in these areas of your life.

Now, this morning, we are not vetting a new crop of elders to determine whether they’re qualified for their job. But what we are doing is talking about the kind of spiritual growth that the world that would actually lead someone to the position of being an elder in the church. Okay? So we’re looking at that kind of behavior, which is simply, by the way, the behavior of every mature Christian. The qualifications of an elder not only serve to vet men for that role, but they also serve the whole church as a list of the characteristics to which we all should be aspiring. It’s like having my son study the batting stance and the swing of a professional baseball player. He plays baseball. He may never play in the show but he does play baseball and so he should know what’s required of the highest level of baseball player. That’s where he should learn. And so when we look at this list, this is how we should learn. Elders must be sober minded and self-controlled, not because they’re special in some kind of special category of Christian, but because all Christians must aspire to be sober minded and self-controlled. You see how that works? That’s how the list works. So it’s kind of fascinating that right at the end of this description of Christian leadership comes a requirement to be well thought of by outsiders. What a strange thing to put on the end of this list, don’t you think? This outsider language, it’s referring to people who don’t know Jesus. It’s referring to people who are outside of the body of Christ. For an elder to be qualified to serve the church, he has to have a good reputation in the community among people who don’t follow Jesus. Now, why is that? I mean, shouldn’t it only matter what the church thinks? I mean, if you’re serving in the church, shouldn’t it only matter what this community thinks of you? Well. Well, no, it absolutely matters what people in the community think of the leader of the church, because the church represents Jesus, and the church’s leadership represents the church in the community.

So let’s say you have a business guy who regularly cuts corners and makes greedy decisions, just well known in the community. As a person who runs a business very, very poorly, mistreats his employees, mistreats customers, but also serves in the church, Can that guy be given the opportunity to lead in a church? Well, no, because the church’s mission is to reach the community for Christ. So those poorly treated customers in that business, that’s part of the field, that’s part of the hope of the church, is to reach folks, these folks with the gospel. The church is then going to take on the reputation of that business person, and it will be hampered in its mission work. A charge that can be brought against a Christian is a charge that can be brought against the church, which is the body of Christ. And so eventually the charge comes against Christ himself. You see that? It comes against Christ, usually in the form of somebody saying, Oh, if that’s how Christians are, I don’t want anything to do with Jesus. You ever heard that? I have. That hardly seems fair to Jesus. But that’s the truth.

Now let’s port this truth over to every Christian on social media. Does the public reputation of a Christian matter online? Is it required of us to be thought well of by outsiders when it’s 1800 digital outsiders? Well, Church, I hope you can see that without question it matters. It absolutely matters. What you say online is read, analyzed, exegeted, interpreted and emotionally applied by hundreds, maybe even thousands of people. Everything you say will have some sort of effect on how those people see you. And not only you. Not just you. It will affect the way they see Christ as you represent Him. Your missionary message to those who don’t know Jesus will be shaped and colored by whatever you type. Second Corinthians five uses the word ambassadors to describe our job among non-Christians in the world. So 2 Corinthians 5:20: “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” So an ambassador is someone who lives in a foreign country but represents the interest of his home country. As an ambassador, you live in a foreign country, but you represent the interests in the foreign country. You represent the interests of your home country. So he can’t represent himself. An ambassador cannot represent his own interests in that foreign country without his interests shaping the view of those who see him representing his home country. So his personal interests become united with the home country. As ambassadors for Christ, we can’t have a separate space in our lives where we don’t represent Christ in his kingdom. You can’t have a separate space. We can’t take the ambassador hat off in one area of our lives and live a certain way, and then pop it back on when we’re ready to represent Jesus. Representing Jesus isn’t something we just do, it is something that we are. And when we forget this, it can have tragic consequences.

I did some counseling one time with a guy in my church. He was a dad, and I talked with him about how to deal with he and his wife. I talked with him, how to deal with their adult son who had rejected Christ and had rejected them in the process of rejecting Christ. And the dad, the dad was really broken over it. And he said to me, I just don’t understand him anymore. He’s so angry. He’s so political. He rejects Jesus. We fight all the time. And I really felt for him, not just because he was in my church, and he was a friend of mine. He’s a brother in Christ. So I wanted to dig in and I wanted to help him find the source of all of this separation. So I do a little exploring, and I went to Facebook and I find out that this couple is very engaged publicly in right wing propaganda and conspiracy theories. And at the same time, they’re openly confrontational and condescending toward those liberals of which their son happens to be a part. This was in the Trump era. And so this couple online had taken on sort of the persona of Trump. So the son, whose own ideas were probably very off, had pushed away mom and dad and all that they stood for, including their brand of Christianity, because he thought that was what Christianity was. He tied the two together. Basically, his attitude is, if that’s what Jesus makes you like, then I don’t want Jesus. The tragedy here is these parents, they really love Jesus. But they were not ambassadors for him. They had divided loyalties, and their political views had taken on such an anti-Christian tone that they weren’t even representing Jesus, even when they were talking about Jesus. Friends, your reputation is being built online whether you want it to be or not. You can’t claim to represent Jesus and then engage online in a tone and a temperament that is far from Christ. You are building a permanent volume of personal interaction that will affect your reputation. And I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have public interaction online. I’m not saying that. But I am saying that there should be a far better thought-out strategy. A massively huge thought-out strategy for how we actually would engage publicly in a way that represents Jesus. So let’s talk strategy. Here’s a way forward from the apostle Paul: [Colossians 3:17]: “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Okay. It’s a simple verse. When we think about what we do for the Lord as a result of His grace, we usually think about deed, don’t we? We usually think about the things that we do, the choices we make, the ways we spend money, ministries we serve in, addictions we break. All of these things are things that we do. All of these things are ways that God is sanctifying our lives. These are good things. We should think a lot about the deeds that we do in our life, but we think a lot less about words, a lot less. Usually when we think about words we say, we either think of swear words, make sure you say the right words or don’t say the wrong words. Or we think about how we talk when we’re face to face with someone. But for some reason, and I just don’t understand this, for some reason, when the words get written down, we somehow think those words don’t have to meet God’s standard for his people. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what the disconnect is. When you go to type, it’s like, I don’t know, something gets lost on the way to the keyboard or on the way to the pen. And by the way, this is not just Internet typing that I’m talking about here. Where writing down words seems to be a sanctification loophole for Christians in a lot of different ways. And I’m thinking of emails. I’m thinking of texts. For some reason people will type something that dishonors the Lord that they would never say out loud for some reason. But sometimes here at church, here in our church, we will get angry, sinfully composed, anonymous connect cards. We get those. We get those. They’re anonymous because whoever wrote it understands the concept of reputation, and they want to lash out without being called out on their sin. God doesn’t care about the medium of your words. He cares about the words. All of them. Paul says, whatever you do in word or deed, he’s being very general so that we understand that there is nothing that falls outside of this instruction. Every word you say, type, text, or jot on your next connect card, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus. If you give a gift to a charity in the name of someone, in the name of someone that you love, you want to both bless that charity, but you also want to honor that person, right? You’ve done it in their name. When we speak and write as Christians, it should be both a blessing to the hearers or to the readers of our words and honor to Jesus at the same time.

That’s how you do it in His name. It’s that ambassadorial idea again. The words you type are like a gift that you give to thousands of people who will read them online. So those words have to point people and build up the honor and the fame of Jesus who you represent. Speaking or writing in the name of the Lord Jesus doesn’t mean just saying Jesus’ name, okay? That’s not just something you just tack on. You know ‘in Jesus name, amen’ – it’s how a lot of us end our prayers, right? It’s not just when you say that phrase. Certainly we want people to talk about Jesus. I don’t want you to discourage you from doing that. Keep talking about Jesus. Give thanks to God for Him in every aspect of your life. Keep sharing the gospel with people who need to hear about him. But it’s not just about the word ‘Jesus’. It’s not just about saying his name. Every post you make online should be in his name. That means everything that you post reflects the values of the Kingdom of God. As a citizen of Christ’s kingdom, as a representative of that kingdom, your reputation becomes the filter through which other people see Jesus. Your reputation is the filter through which they see him. So we don’t slander people, including politicians and famous people and other public figures, even if we disagree with them. We don’t slander them. Not just because slander is wrong, but because if we build a reputation as a slanderer, someone will think that Christ is a slanderer. We don’t share unverified speculation and half-truths and lies. Because we are people who care about the truth. Our faith is built on the truth of God’s word. So we shouldn’t allow for the bending of truth in any area of life. We don’t return hate with unkind words. We don’t see someone else’s unkindness as a license to be unkind because our Lord tells us to love our enemies. And he modeled it for us on the cross. He went to die for his enemies. I know that Jesus said some hard things. I know that he had hard words for religious hypocrites, and he turned over the tables in the temple out of zeal for God. I know that he did those things. There are times for a hard truth to be said. I’d argue that moment is not on your second cousin’s Instagram. But there are times, and Jesus had hard words, but those words were for God’s wayward religious leaders. He had nothing but love and patience for sheep without a shepherd. When you’re about to post. I’m telling you, Church, check your heart first. Check your heart first. You’ll never have words, by the way, that you could pray through more than the ones you write before you hit respond. You got all kinds of pause time there. Check your heart. As you are about to say something, is it something in anger or pride or to win? To win? Or to make fun of someone or to bring down judgment on someone? If what you’re about to say doesn’t point to Jesus and His grace, log out. Just log out. Church if the world is going to peer in and get a glimpse of Christ, it is going to be through the window of our public interaction. It’s going to be through the window of what we do and say, including everything that we say online. So what do you do? What do you do if you take an honest personal inventory of your online interaction? You get online this afternoon and start to scroll down through what you’ve put out there into the world over the last few years. What if you get there and you find out that it doesn’t look much like the values of King Jesus? That you haven’t actually been representing the proper kingdom. Well, the beauty of the gospel is that it’s for sinners. The greatest reputation a Christian can have is sinner saved by grace. That’s the reputation we want.

We do this thing in my house that is never comfortable, but it is always the right thing and it is always healing. We repent as publicly as we sin in our house. So if I yell at Rachel in front of the kids, then I apologize to Rachel in front of the kids and then also to the kids. Speaking words in Jesus’ name includes repentance and restoration and healing. That’s how we honor the Lord when we sin. If you find that you’ve engaged online in a way that is built the wrong reputation as an ambassador of Jesus, you can’t go wrong using the same public platform to say that very thing. To say that’s what you’ve done. If you hurt people with your comments, you can bring healing by admitting that you were wrong in that same comment thread. I messed up here. I’m sorry. If you shared hurtful articles that delete function is there at your service. Let’s get rid of it. Repent as publicly as you sin. I know that’s the hard thing to do. You know why it’s the hard thing to do? Because it hurts the identity that we’ve built for ourselves. That’s why it’s so hard for us. We’ve put a lot into that identity. But the beauty of knowing Christ is that He is our identity. We don’t need a reputation that is better than Jesus. We are in Christ. There is no better reputation that you can build than a sinner saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. With your words, with what you say and what you type, make sure that’s what people see when they see you. Let’s pray.